Straya


Crikey on a bikey!

06/01/2016

I had a night free (3rd of December 2015 - mark the date). I spontaneously decided to brew and within a minute's time I was standing in the kitchen proclaiming I was going to make the worst beer ever. Not only the worst but most Australian.

There were two bags of malt I bought in error to make the Humbler B (grain brewing still looks like a distant goal) and these bags were looking mighty clumpy and sickly, additionally I had a tin of Coopers Australian Pale ale wort lying around (unsure as to why). 2kg of malt. Extra alcoholic, yet not enough.

The key ingredient was missing. I asked my housemate Michael if I could have (and eventually replace) his jar of Vegemite.

Let us rejoice. For we are young and free.

Let us rejoice. For we are young and free.

So the house stank of brewing beer and an entire jar of dissolved Vegemite. What are you gonna do? I guess open some windows.

God I wish it was chocolate. Actually... Nutella beer must be pretty good.

God I wish it was chocolate. Actually... Nutella beer must be pretty good.

I encountered a few issues while making Straya. Firstly was with the aging maltase which had formed chunks that would not dissolve without some extra encouragement in the form of a whisk.

Secondly we had a rent inspection coming up. While I'm proud of my brewing and it is harmless (minus possible poisonings) I can see the rental agency frowning upon it a bit. I transferred the fermenter to the garage seeing as it's dark, out of the way and fairly temperature controlled.

Finally the fermentation was a violent one. Multiple times the huge amount of nutrition I'd given the yeast caused the fermenter to overflow through the S-pipe. This required me to clean the fermenter to avoid unwanted attention from any creepy crawlies in the garage, top up the water in the S-pipe and ultimately throw away the S-pipe that had become caked in a deep sticky mess I had no desire to spend hours cleaning.

Have I ever mentioned about what a pain it is to clean and sterlise all this stuff?

Have I ever mentioned about what a pain it is to clean and sterlise all this stuff?

The day after leaving Straya to ferment I went to work. I approached my brewing co-worker with my head down in shame:

"I've done a very bad thing."

"Don't tell me. You used a Coopers brewing kit!"

"Actually yes... It gets worse though..."

That was 2spooky. But even spookier was the Facebook message I saw from my friend Dylan right after:

"next beer brew IPA with Vegemite"

3spooky

While bottling the beer I tried a sample and - steam me some dumplings and call me Oscar - I hadn't made the worst beer ever. I'd made the best! It still needed chilling and a secondary fermentation but wowie kazowie strewth it tasted good.

That incredibly satisfying lineup. You'll notice the sans girlfriend label quality... Works for the straya aesthetic at least.

That incredibly satisfying lineup. You'll notice the sans girlfriend label quality... Works for the straya aesthetic at least.

To me it's a lot like the Humble B but salty. A beer that dehydrates you more effectively than beer. Aces. Not everyone is so crazy on it though. The flavour profile is quite rich. It's okay... really... I understand... My beer is too good to enjoy.

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-Bob Hayden

Warning: This blog should demonstrate that I am by no means an expert. I can't guarantee all information here is scientifically accurate. I learn at my own slow pace as I discover and try new things and recall things from school & university.